Author:Ipsita Sarkar
“Prove or share?
The former will satisfy your ego.
The latter will satisfy your conscience.”- Omar Hafiz
On 1st September 2020, the Graduate Scholars of the Kashmir Education Initiative (KEI) pondered over the age-old questions that continue to baffle both the veterans and the novice alike, ‘If grades are not the indicators of success in the future, then what is? If marks and victories do not guarantee happiness in our life, then what does?’. In an interactive session lead by Mr. Omar Hafiz, Program Manager and Lead Mentor at KEI, they were surprised to find that the answers to these tricky questions lay right within them.
Mr. Omar began the Session by asking the students what image popped up in their minds when they heard the word, ‘Self-Exploration’. Most of the students gathered who had been pursuing either Medical or Engineering, struggled to visualize what Self-Exploration looked like, rather they arrived at an important inference that they had in chasing their academic goals, they had never really explored their unique identities.
The question was then turned in a different direction-what was the meaning of the word Self-Exploration? A common voice echoed even in the students’ diverse set of replies, self-exploration was about knowing one’s strengths and weaknesses, feelings, and opinions, assessing the right and wrong choices for oneself.
Throughout the introspective session, Mr. Omar encouraged different interpretations, saying that all the answers were perspectives originating from each of the student’s unique life stories. For instance, on being asked who their biggest teacher was, Mr. Bilal answered that it was his action-good or bad that taught him the biggest lessons. But for Ms. Falak, who had cleared her NEET entrances during her second attempt, it was a failure that was a productive eye-opener.
“An empty stomach and an empty wallet are both filled to the brim with lessons,”, said Mr. Omar. He spoke about the reality of Kashmir where 95 percent of the populace belonged to the economically middle-class. Revolving around an ego-driven approach, the goal of the segment was to complete a professional course and become a support system for the family. Career would become more a matter of earning self-respect in society than about fulfilling one’s calling.
The students spoke about their role models and how they had impacted their lives. While Yasir and Muntaha spoke about the special roles played by their respective Fathers in doling out useful advice, Bilal cited his teachers as his source of inspiration and motivation. Mr. Omar explained that a role model was more of a feeling than a person. He likened the concept of a role model to the final ribbon in the race that the athletes wanted to reach to win. But life was deeper than that race, with no fixed targets like that ribbon.
He said, “Our targets will keep changing, sometimes it would be acing an exam, then it would be a cushy well paying job at a reputed MNC, then it would be to become independent, then to start a family and so on. And we would equate happiness to achieving these targets or the money and success that come along.”
What follows that ‘success’ many a time, he told the students, was the build-up of an ego. That leads to complacency and pride. In the process, one would lose out on many things, their humility, respect for others, curiosity to acquire more knowledge, and most importantly, to continue to dream and go beyond that ‘last ribbon in the race’, not to compete but to enjoy the journey of running in itself!
There was no full stop to that journey of self-actualization, it would continue with persistent hard work, knowledge, patience and last but not the least, dreaming. In that journey, traveling and meeting new people and gathering new experiences, made a whole lot of difference in adapting and evolving as a person. That would make us unlearn and walk away from rigid and conservative mindsets.
He highlighted the importance of unlearning to become flexible seekers, open to change, and absorbing new things through collaborating with others. To illustrate this concept better, he asked, “What is the difference between proving and sharing?” The students put forth their opinions and together arrived at a stark contrast between the two. Proving something could be detrimental to real success and growth as it was ego-driven, while through sharing, people would learn to help and gain knowledge and skills from each other, especially in the global village where we all live today.
Mr. Omar pointed out how in current times, social media platforms had turned into battlegrounds of individual egos with everyone trying to prove their superiority, rather than listen to each other.
He concluded the session by showing a short film on Kindness and Compassion. The movie depicted the journey of an ordinary man- how he derived joy from the simple things in life and the currency of kind gestures, instead of money that he used to help others in need. It left a strong impact on the students and they discussed the different ways in which they could make their lives more meaningful-not through money or jobs, but actions geared to serve humanity and the whole planet.